There is no ideal for how long sex should last outside what feels best for the individual people involved. About 20% of women in same-gender relationships said their sexual sessions last an hour or more. The exception to that rule might be women who have sex with women: A 2014 study found the median time spent on sex was 30 to 45 minutes among women in same-gender relationships, compared to 15 to 30 minutes for mixed-gender relationships and relationships between men. "If you're thinking people are generally having sex for hours, think again," sexologist Shamyra Howard, LCSW, tells mbg. Both men and women reported that sex lasted an average of seven minutes. Men tended to report that foreplay lasted longer than women did. On average, women and men in relationships report that "foreplay" lasts 11 and 13 minutes respectively, according to a 2004 study of heterosexual couples. Meanwhile, the average woman takes 13.41 minutes to reach orgasm during sex with men, according to a 2020 study, though it requires activities other than just penis-in-vagina intercourse. Anywhere from three to 13 minutes is considered a normal duration for vaginal sex, according to a 2005 survey of sex therapists. Vaginal intercourse lasts a median of 5.4 minutes before the man ejaculates, according to a 2005 study of heterosexual couples from five different countries.
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